I lost my prayer rope
by philologia
I haven’t been making it to Advent services. Mostly due to disorganization, and lack of energy. A little bit because it’s expensive, gas-wise, to go to church. Even on the days when I do keep the fast, I feel as if I’m not.
Becoming useful to the fire department isn’t easy, it’s frustrating and time-consuming. The person I want to be would smile, shrug and study harder. Apparently I get snappy and then cry.
The saints didn’t act like emotional brats. I can see that I am, but how do I stop?
I don’t know where I put my prayer rope.
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I’m praying for you. I don’t really know anything about being Orthodox except what I’ve learned from you, or looked up on the internet because of you. But I have a modest suggestion. In high school we had a service about finding time to pray and at the end they gave everyone a jingle bell, whenever we heard it ring it was time to take a minute to reflect. I know it’s not as good as Vespers, but maybe you could find a way to consciously steal some reflective time and some you and God time throughout the day. Even saints cry sometimes. Emotional energy can’t always be made by sheer force of will. Even if just for your sanity, find a way to think of God and remember that he thinks you’re fabulous a couple of times a day. *hug*